Mom Judging: Why it Needs to Stop

Scroll through Facebook.
Find a catchy title on Scary Mommy.
Read the article.
Laugh as I totally relate.
Skim the comments.
“How dare she feed that baby formula?”
“I would never let a daycare raise my child!”
“Oh, she cloths diapers…that is so gross.”
“What mother feeds her baby food from a jar?”
“Is she really breastfeeding her toddler?!”
“It is not childbirth if you had a c-section.”
Rush of emotions come over me.
Instantly feel like a horrible mother.
Resist the urge to throw my phone.

We need to STOP. Stop this nonsense right NOW. Mom judging is everywhere. In the store, at restaurants, on social media, the workplace, the list goes on. What happened to the golden rule if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all?

On my first day back to work after having my second child, while in my very first pumping session ever at work (that is right, I didn’t need to pump at work for Logan, he was mostly formula fed *gasp!*) Emily sent me the cheesy, yet adorable song from High School Musical, “We’re all in this together.” As the video drowned out the sound of my pump, I laughed and laughed and even shed a tear. Emotions were high that day. I never got into High School Musical, but it got me thinking. These kids are onto something. We really are all in this together. Whether you whip out that boob from day one to year two. Or you wash bottles late into the night from formula feeding during the day. Whether you purchase a food processor to make your homemade baby food, with or without organic vegetables. Or you go to the store and pick up the baby jars of food. Whether your child came out of your vagina (yeah, I said vagina). Or you had a c-section, by choice or not. Whether you decide to spend your money on diapers. Or if you’d rather just do it with the cloth. Whether you stay at home and take care of your kiddos. Or you need to place them in someone else’s care so you can pay the bills. Should I keep going?

A couple of years ago Similac shared an amazing video. Before you jump out of your seat, this video was not promoting their formula. In the video you see all different types of moms bringing their kids to the park. They begin to judge each other immediately – you see the breastfeeding vs formula, the cloth vs diaper, the working moms vs. the stay at home moms, and on and on. At the end the end of the video a situation happens and you know what? They all come together as one. Because when the kids go to bed at night and we finally get to take that deep breath – we are all the same inside.

Being a mom is damn hard. Easily the hardest job of my life and no matter how we choose to “mom” – we are all faced with similar struggles. We teach our kids to be kind to one another and then we immediately turn around and make snarky comments because another mom is doing something we didn’t do. It is a bit twisted and backwards if you ask me. Next time you want to judge a mom, put yourself in her shoes. Everyone has battles that we know nothing about. It is time that we put that negative energy towards something else.

So moms – I am are here to say, can’t we all just get along?!
Don’t make me use my mom voice. 😉


10 thoughts on “Mom Judging: Why it Needs to Stop

  1. Kayla Nigro says:

    As a young mother, I really appreciate this. There’s a huge stigma surrounding women getting pregnant at a young age and I think judging those who make that choice for themselves is wrong.

  2. audriaallred says:

    I think this way every time I read mommy posts. We should pull together as moms and not pull one another down. I have learned that you will vary with each child on the things that your 3rd baby needs, and it may go against what you thought was no other way for your first baby. Every mom parents different. If they didn’t who could we learn from as moms?

  3. kayla8642 says:

    Women and mothers need to be supportive and accepting of each others choices! Being a parent is a wonderful but tough job and we are all trying are hardest. Well said!

  4. Jessica says:

    Sherrie, I feel the exact same way. As a new mom, I found myself doing or not doing certain things to avoid criticism from other moms. Thank you for this post. I hope it will inspire more moms to do more encouraging and less judging.

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